Nurture
by heartlandiansoisle
Summary: Alternative ending for Tamy in 9x18. Amy has found something out. A/N: If you're still riding high on Amy's pregnancy announcement, then this might not be the fic for you. ONE-SHOT.
"Oh, Monty, you look so..." Amy was trying to find the words to describe the feeling she was having as she was petting her new miniature horse, Monty. The latest equine addition to their little family had been an anniversary gift from Ty, and the horse was standing in the middle of the Dude Ranch cabin - a red ribbon around his neck - as he had been lead there by Ty just few minutes earlier. "So..."Amy's voice trailed off as she couldn't seem to find the words - they got stuck in her throat as she tried to overcome this emotional barrier.

"Is everything okay...?" Ty asked carefully, not wanting to sound like Amy's emotional state was somehow not fitting to the occasion. He had expected her to be surprised, even moved, because she had become attached to Monty ever since she first saw him, but this felt somehow different.

And it wasn't just about this moment, about Amy's inability to find the words to express herself, it was about the whole day; Amy had been very fidgety and so desperate for affection that Ty could tell there was a difference compared to how his wife usually behaved.

Amy sighed and scratched Monty, as the horse nibbled at the edge of her sweater, figuring now was as good time as any to tell Ty the news she had received yesterday.

"I've been trying to find the right moment to tell you this, but there never seems to be one, so here goes..." she started talking, finally turning her head to look at Ty to let him know that she was telling him something important. "I went to OB/GYN and they found something they were worried about..."

"Oh...?" Ty said, coming closer, following his instinct to take care of Amy. She seemed so fragile and her eyes were welling up that Ty knew that she was probably going to be in need a warm embrace soon.

"They will let me know soon if what they think turns out to be true, but... it looks like... I'm not able to have children..." Amy finally admitted, then turning her gaze away being unable to hold back the tears anymore. She bit her lower lip and felt the warm drops of her salty tears on her cheeks, rolling all the way down to her chin.

"Amy... I'm so sorry..." Ty said, not knowing what else to say. He knelt down to her level and took her hand that had been buried in Monty's thick coat.

"Not as sorry as I am..." Amy could barely say the words. She looked up, closing her eyes as she tried to stem the flow of tears, but the gravity of the situation only cause her to begin to sob instead.

Ty couldn't take it anymore and came to her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Why would you say that? It's not your fault", Ty asserted. He didn't know what was going on, but in most cases, any kind of medical condition, especially with someone as clean living as Amy, wasn't caused by them.

"I guess not, but..." she sighed heavily, "I just feel awful... Mostly because I know how much you want to be a father... But it's not something I can offer you..." Amy cried, hiding her face against his neck. She was starting to feel like she had failed as a wife even before they had been married for a year.

Ty could feel her moist, labored breath against his skin as he embraced her trembling body gently against his.

He admitted that wanting to become a father had been something he had struggled with. Coming from a broken home and witnessing how parenting could go wrong, Ty had once swore he would never have kids, because if his genes were anything to go by, the kids would only end up being basket cases.

But ever since Amy had come into his life - or more like he had come into hers - he had realized that genes weren't everything. If he was able to turn his whole life around after becoming part of the Bartlett-Fleming family, anything was possible.

And knowing, that the child would have Amy's genes too, would only up his or hers chances of being a better citizen than anyone from the Borden clan could ever have hoped to be.

"I know what I've said and I know what we've talked about, but... right now all I care about is you..." Ty wanted her to know. "You're the most important thing in my life, not some hypothetical baby."

"I know we said we'll wait and it wasn't like it was going to happen anytime soon anyway, but just knowing that it might _never_ happen-" Amy could barely talk as she took in a sharp breath. Ty caressed her back with his thumbs, trying to help her relax and get her breathing better. "I should be able to give you children... I just feel so broken..." she continued, her voice getting soggier.

"Amy, don't stay that... Your value as a wife or a woman is not measured in whether you can give me children or not. The only thing that matters is that you love me... And you still do, right?" Ty said, creating just enough space between them so he could look her in the eyes.

"Of course I do", Amy assured. She couldn't help getting all chocked up as she couldn't believe how thoughtful and loving careful Ty was about this - but then again, what else should she have expected. The weight she had carried for both of them was starting to dissolve a little, even if her heart still felt heavy. "I'll love you forever..."

"And I love you too. I know this is a shock and it's not something we expected to happen, but we'll make it through, just like we always do", Ty replied trying to help calm her down. "It might not be easy, but we're made of the strong stuff, so as long as we stick together, we'll be okay. Right...?"

Amy nodded a little hugging Ty even tighter, really wanting to believe that there was more to the future than the kind of emptiness that had been trying to take over her heart.


End file.
